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  • Sophie Frabotta

How to Know if it's Your Ego or Your Soul

It is near impossible for both the ego + the soul to be active at the same time. When we feed the ego, it becomes more prominent and when we feed the soul, it shows up more in our lives.

Ultimately, it is up to us to recognize which state we are listening to, focusing on, and giving our attention to every day. Have you ever heard the phrase, "the ego is not your amigo"? Well I disagree. We do not want to completely negate the ego, because it has a role.

Just today I was speaking to a client and used this analogy about the ego. Let's say there's a restaurant. You have the front of the house and the back of the house. The ego is like the chef or the dishwasher. These are both super important jobs. The spirit is like the hostess or waiter, which are completely different jobs.

When the chef is seating people, or the hostess is getting all wet from washing dishes, the eco system is disrupted. While we need to work as a team, this sometimes, can happen! The ideal is that everyone is excelling in their own role.

The ego and spirit are similar to this.


The ego is your horizontal alignment and helps you navigate your human life. Some examples are putting on your pants, driving to work, taking showers, getting organized for a presentation. These are great works of the ego.

The ego also has temporary desires, which can lead to feelings of lust that feels like love. The ego often seeks knowledge for the sake of wanting to win and be right.


The spirit is your vertical alignment and keeps you plugged into your greater spiritual purpose. When your spirit downloads divine inspiration, ideas, and potential, then the balanced ego can help you live our this inner state. The ego can help your divine potential move out into the third dimensional realm.

You soul is also eternal and it vibrates to the frequency of love. The soul will expresses itself through quiet wisdom. It wants to you to evolve and grow, which can make the ego feel quite uncomfortable.

The one that looks for external validation is the ego and the one that aligns with inner validation is your Soul. Ego feels lack but your Soul feels abundant!


Ego is Me. Soul is WE.


With awareness and consciousness you can get into a better relationship with self by knowing about the ego and the soul. This awareness will help guide you in the moment, so that every decision you need to make, large or small, you have the awareness to check in where the information is coming from.

Next time you are wondering if it is ego or Soul here's a quick tip that can help you identify it in a pinch.

  1. Stop, and take a second to check into your body.

  2. Ask your body: is this my ego or my soul talking?

  3. Tune in and listen to your body.

  4. Feel or sense the answer.

  5. If it is your ego, then ask, what does my spirit have to say about this.

  6. Then follow #3 and #4 again.