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  • Sophie Frabotta

7 Mindsets to Create Healthy Boundaries

An empath has the ability to feel and respond to the energies around them. Empaths are open-hearted and love to help. They are drawn to occupations that have deeper meaning and want to make a difference in the world.


Empaths are extra sensitive and in tune with sensing internal and external energy and can take it in very easily. This can feel like a curse for someone who is not aware of this gift, and a skill for those who learn how to use it.


However, empaths can also take on other people’s moods, get overstimulated by someone’s emotional state and need to apply energetic clearing and cleaning practices to keep themselves balanced.


You might be an empath if:

  • You like your quiet time, as it helps you recharge

  • You are bothered by things like: violent scenes on TV, certain music, or people's bad moods

  • You may feel aches and pains in your body when you are around someone else who doesn't feel good

  • You can't stand being controlled

  • You are highly intuitive and "just know" a bunch of things

Among a whole list of other things, but I would guess if you have found yourself reading this it is because, YOU are indeed an empath! Welcome to the tribe. Being an empath is a gift.


As you learn to accept that you are a highly sensitive person who can take others energy through absorption and reflection, you can begin to use this gift for good. If you are an empath, your best protection is healthy boundaries. This will help you have a better understanding of your energy compared to someone external and gives you a little space to learn about your empathic ways.



The 7 Mindsets to Create Healthy Boundaries

To help you understand how to implement these, how they work, or how you can apply them in your life; I have listed them out below and will then go into detail on each one.

  1. It is ok if others get angry.

  2. It is ok to say no.

  3. It is not my business whether you are happy.

  4. I am responsible for my mood.

  5. It is not my job to take responsibility for your mood.

  6. It can be true for me, even if you do not agree with me.

  7. No one can tell me what I feel or don't feel.


1. It's ok if others get angry.

This means that you are able to own your path and you are releasing the need to take responsibility for others. Everyone has feelings and all you can do is own your feelings. So if someone else gets angry, you can observe and simply let them sit with their feelings. This is a very important step in creating the boundaries you need around your energy to understand what is yours, and what is theirs.


2. It's ok to say no.

No is a complete statement. You can just say no, and move on. If you feel like you cannot commit to anything, it is totally ok to just say No. I like to practice with little things. Muster up the courage to try it. Say NO, and then count in your head to 5. If someone questions you because they are used to you saying YES, then just explain honestly, I already have a commitment in that space. And yes, a hair appoint, a bath, a lunch with a friend, alone time to meditate, a walk in the park are all prior commitments, you just have to honor them that way.


3. It's not my business whether you are happy.

Again, you are the only one who can feel your own feelings. No one can make you happy or sad. You are either having happy or sad feelings within. Someone may be able to show you what is there, but remember these feelings are yours. So if you just own your inner space and really start to own who you are, you do not have to take on the responsibility for someone else's happiness.


4. I am responsible for my mood.

See a theme here? Your feelings are yours. If you are in a "mood", check yourself and look at what is coming up for you. Someone else might have rung the bell, but the bell is on the inside. This is where you want to go within and ask yourself some questions. You can find some helpful free resources on this process here.


5. It is not my job to take responsibility for your mood.

I am talking to you people pleasers, you know who you are, always trying to make it better for everyone else, yet pushing your own desires to the back-burner and stewing a hot pot of resentment soup, only for it to boil over and explode at some point. Other people are not your responsibility. You are your only responsibility (and you dependents). If someone is in a crabby mood, detach from the energy here, log back into your system and find the energy or emotion you want to be plugged into.


6. It can be true for me, even if you do not agree with me.

This is an important awareness about truth. My favorite description of truth is this: The truth is a sphere, and there is only one truth, but from where you are standing and the perspective you have you only get to see a sliver of it. Therefore, someone else may have a different viewpoint, which would mean that you are both correct in your vision of the "truth". Just remember the truth is so big and expansive, that both can be right and our b